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Archive for November 16th, 2006

Did you have your eyebrow bitten off by a man who screwed your wife?

The mental picture…I just…really, there are no words.  C’mon Neil.  Paddy Kenny is now the dictionary definition of ‘insult to injury.’  How can you not feel bad for him?  Weren’t you ever young and impetuous and friends with cuckolding cannibals?

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We have neighbors upstairs who are, you know, THOSE sort of neighbors.  Soccer-playing-in-the-house, bellowing, run-from-one-end-to-the-other, obscenity-yelling, picture-hanging-at-midnight folks.  We have to nap with the tv on to drown out the sound of the father hollering at one or both of the two boys at roughly three-thirty every school day.  We don’t speak to them in the elevators.  We try to pretend they do not exist.  And then, last week, the unthinkable happened.  One of the boys embarked in the wild world of musical learning.  In the brass family.  We’re not sure which instrument since they all sort of sound alike in the beginning, and by ‘alike’ I do mean ‘loud’ and ‘vaguely flat.’

Thanks, people upstairs.  Really.  I won’t feel nearly as bad when we buy Lucy a drum set and suspend it from the ceiling.

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