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Archive for December 14th, 2007

C had his last class dinner last night and came home close to 1 am.  Which isn’t a huge deal aside from my tendency to freak out when anyone is late which has been amplified by the post-partum exhaustion/recurrence of my ocd-like behavior (which is also always worst at Xmas time…)

The thing is, I’m lonely.  He’s been out 3 times in the past week or so, and while I can leave the baby with him to go do something, I have nothing to do.  I could walk around the block, or go to the grocery, but it would be by myself because I have nobody to go out with.  And last night, when he told me that clearly I had not gone my entire life without friends so I must remember how to make them, I realized something.

I don’t know how I ever made friends.

That is not meant to sound self-pitying, it’s just the truth.  Most of my friends in the past just happened.  A lot of them from situations I don’t find myself in anymore (all the stoners clump together in college) or from social settings I don’t have time for (I did once love to dance to teh gawth and noo wave…)

I have made very few friends in my lifetime while I was sober.  Which makes me sound like a total drunk, but what the hell.  I don’t feel comfortable conversationally unless I’ve met someone several times before, or unless I have a drink in my hand.  I am shy.  I am sarcastic.  And a lot of the time I just don’t really like people and have a hard time hiding it.

And we all know how popular misanthropes are in social settings.

So, I don’t know what I’m going to do.  I just want to have someone to grab a cup of coffee with.  Does anyone know how to meet other mothers in person who don’t suck?  Preferably without having to leave my house.

Kidding.  Sort of.

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