I’ve placed our meat/cheese/bread order for next week, set up the spreadsheet for food tracking (including eat out/take out) and the dry-erase board holds a guide to the treasures contained in our fridge. I made up baby beets, peaches and carrots on Tuesday with apricots and more peaches to follow this afternoon (we’ll be using up store-bought baby jars at the MIL’s this weekend but otherwise it’s been two days of naught but homemade.) Whatever we don’t finish from the refrigerator over the course of the day will be taken with us (I’m looking at you, zucchini.) I can say conclusively that I am ready for the new month!
And my head is in the right place, too. I woke up feeling…better. Sort of calm. It’s nice, especially since the temptation is great to pop on the a/c today. It’s amazing how much easier it is mentally to make changes in your life when you have someone to support you. I hadn’t realized how much I was associating Rioting with some sort of notion that my priorities were out of whack and that my family (or my health) was suffering because of it. The thing is, I think I had started to believe that I wasn’t capable of participating without somehow not being a good enough wife/mother/woman/whatever. Fuck that noise. It really isn’t for anyone else to say whether I am doing a good enough job anyway so I don’t know why I take so to heart off the cuff remarks that aren’t even based in reality.
I’m starting to think that one of the most important actions one takes when undertaking a large-scale lifestyle change is to make sure you’re being true to yourself. Even when people act like you’re a nut, even when you’re the only one in your household acting, even when things go pear-shaped and you feel like giving up. I think most people want to view change as a linear process even though we all know intellectually that it is anything but. In the long run, though, this can lead to so much disappointment, both in the process of change and in ourselves. But when you can say honestly that you are listening to your true self when you act, it is so much easier to get things done, even when it feels like you’re one person against the world.