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Archive for July 7th, 2008

Two Buses

Lucy’s summer program started today, and so I packed up her lunch and sunscreen and a change of clothes and then ourselves onto the first bus. I take buses roughly once a year, but with Lucy there I had to pretend to be brave.

‘Do you stop at x and y?’ The bus number was different from the one I had scribbled on the index card in my pocket but it was going where we were going so we grabbed a seat and I tried to furtively check out the window. Lucy sat clutching the seat, swinging her feet, trying not to look too anxious.

Second bus stop. We talked about imagination and how important it was to use yours every day so that you don’t lose it. ‘You know, even though I am a grown up I still like to imagine things.’ ‘You do?’

After I drop her off in the nice building with the nice people and am walking back to the bus stop, I imagine going home without my baby girl and my stomach lurches just a little bit.

It’s quiet here without her. My little button-pusher, the one who is so much like me we drive each other crazy. The one who doesn’t get enough of my time and attention. My little Lucyheart who came to me as I was fixing her lunch to thank me for signing her up for this program. I can’t wait for the two buses that will take me back to her this afternoon. In the meantime, I will hug my Chico extra hard and laugh with him extra loud so that we don’t notice our sunshine isn’t around.

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