There is a specific question for anyone from the Riot reading this on the feed at the bottom–I need advice about how to get myself to stop buying stuff.
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I am thinking a lot about Tillie Olsen for my paper. Thinking about privelege, about struggle, and about how my favorite thing about “I Stand Here Ironing” is that the narrator is a mother who sounds like a mother. Slightly harried, proud and regretful at the same time, and a mother and person at the same time. I am excited to write my paper, and nervous to not do justice to this writer I have come to admire greatly both for her writing and for her life. Her words are so powerful. They make me want to write again, which is good since all of my classes are conducted in writing 🙂
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We are growing things again here at chez Neko. Over the past two days, we planted basil, chives, parsley, cilantro and thyme, plus this cheezy-ass Gothic Graveyard Garden I ordered from Tarzhay. It is awesome. We are growing moonflower, sensitive plant, dragon tree and black coleus (this last one amuses me as I spent the better part of last weekend trying to decipher photos of slides of coleus plant structure. I find myself wondering how much different the chloroplasts must look if the leaves are black, which means I am actually learning in my botany class.) I picked up marigold and nasturtium seeds as well as pickling cukes what can be grown in containers but we are waiting to plant those. I think we’re going to give some tomatoes a go this year again because I think moisture was the problem last year.
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What do both of the above sections have in common? Buying things. I have been a lean, mean buying machine. This continues to be my weakest Riot section. I would say that I suck at it except I really haven’t been able to find a way to make myself really try. I see something, I can afford it, I buy it. Books I need for class, new pants so I don’t have to live in sweats, pants for Chico, socks for C, feeding Lucy’s Littlest Pet Shop addiction. It’s like a reward system for my good work but it isn’t something I want to keep up. Everything gets used, we actually have room for most of it, but I want to get myself out of the habit of rewarding myself with STUFF. I can’t seem to maintain any sort of resolve in this area. How do you keep yourself from impulse purchases/reward purchases? I am really feeling like I need to get this problem under control NOW.
What would you do with the money if you didn’t spend it on stuff? … Then spend it on that instead.
Whether that’s (saving towards) buying land, a geothermal installation in your home, a sustainable business project, education, donations, gold to get you through inflationary times – whatever.
You aren’t going to spend the rest of your life accumulating money for the sake of not spending it. If you aren’t using your money to acquire stuff then you need an alternate use for it.
Alternatively, perhaps you don’t need the money. Maybe what you really want is a fundamental lifestyle change.
Think about what changes would be required so you wouldn’t be buying seeds. You would collect seeds or cuttings from friends; you would participate with a local seed bank. Some of this you can do this time (save the seeds from the black coleus and see what the next generation looks like) and some of this is a signal of the connections you need to build.
Or books. To not buy books for school, they need to be available in the libraries, or in the sort of alternate library that is the used bookstore (you pay a one-time fee to withdraw the book for a few months; then you get part of your deposit back when you return the book to the used bookstore). For Tillie Olsen that’s not hard; Tillie Olsen is Tillie Olsen every year. For science texts that’s very hard. The nature of science dictates that texts will be updated regularly. This might be the sort of interesting failure that signals the need for governmental infrastructure support. If we are all to have access to up-to-date science texts yet not buy books… then maybe there needs to be a way to make science texts available online.
For me, I buy things because it seems to be the one last vice allowed to me, and frankly, I enjoy it. I do keep the majority of my buying to used stores, but still. I like the pleasures of a few hours alone, rooting through bins, or sometimes, buying a new bottle of nail polish.
I don’t know what the answer is-maybe like with foods that aren’t good for you-shop a little, but not alot?
I do a combination of the things that Alison and Thordora suggest. I am saving towards a) having 8 months of expenses covered and b) building a home/moving. When I get the shopping bug, I usually go to thrift stores or the used book store (looooove HousingWorks book store in SoHo. Just dropped $7 on 12 classic lit books yesterday). Given, I don’t often get the shopping bug because I’m naturally predisposed toward stinginess except when it comes to takeout food. That I’m not sure what to do about.
Divide the thought into “need” vs “want”.
Perhaps sit down and think of some long term goals that you want to work towards, like a disney vacation for the kids in a year or so. Or, a weekend away with your man. Funnel that money towards something like that.
I wish it was an easy answer.
Consumer goods is, by far, our worst Riot Category as well. I have to admit that one reason I haven’t posted a Riot update is that I am a little bit embarressed by how spendy we have been.
That said, I am really trying to stop buying so much. My strategies (very much a work in progress) have been:
-Buy all of our nessary consumer goods (i.e., baking soda, non-prescription medications, shampoo, etc.) in 6 month increments. I put together a spreadsheet of who has the best prices on each item and then make a big order online and visit the necessary stores on one day (without kid) to get everything done. What this does is keep me out of the store, specifically Target which really helps curb any impulse buying. I still end up at Target once every two weeks or so (picking up perscriptions) but I often don’t buy anything additional.
-Making our own. We’re now making our own glass cleaner and toothpaste and I am going to try hand cream in the next couple of weeks. This does not, of course, eliminate buying entirely. Unless you live on a magical self-sustaining farm you are still going to have to buy the raw materials.
-Learning to use my library’s online reservation system so that I can get “new” books easily without buying them (one of my favorite things to buy).
-For plants, I am still buying seeds and seedlings. Seed saving is a learning process. I plan to save some seed this year, but I think going from basically no gardening expereince to saving/trading all or most of my own seeds in one year is unreasonable. Growing one’s own is so much better than buying from the grocery store regardless of whether or not you purchased the seed. I have, however, limited myself to only buing food/medicinal plants and seeds. No ornamentals. If I want anything solely ornamental I have to find it for free or trade for it.
-Trying to disconnect myself from consumer culture as much as possible. I don’t read any magazines (other than The Economist and Cooking Light), about the only TV I watch is via Netflix (so no commericals), etc. I try to avoid places like the mall. I am most definitiely not perfect and when I do those things I find myself wanting that new pair of shoes. Out of sight, out of mind for me.
I just realized that this is an obscenely long comment. I think I should probably post about this on my own blog.
thanks, you guys. I’m going to take all of this and put together a plan 🙂