As in, I sure fell down one for the past week or so. In a good way for a change, though. A productive way. A change out of sweat pants way. An I haven’t cried since the 13th way (which, let me tell you, is some sort of record lately.) And so here is an attempt at a proper update…
First, in the ‘garden’…we have our first marigold bloom! The geranium is budding and should be gorgeous by next weekend. The cucumber is full and lovely, the nasturtium as well. Our black dragon coleus is getting tall and I think may be ready for transplant. Alas, the moonflower doesn’t seem to be doing as well–we had a bloom last week but it faded really quickly and now the plant is looking really sad 😦
From Lucy’s gardening program we have acquired several new plants–a teeny basil and a terrarium with two plants I haven’t tried to identify and another coleus. I am sad that we are down to her last week, although I plan to do some hauling around to museums in our month off.
Second, the brain. I am coming up on 2 weeks on meds. So far so good–I had really low-grade headaches on a couple of days and sometimes I get a little dizzy (like standing up too quickly) but otherwise I have been free of side effects. I am making sure to drink water to avoid dry mouth too. I feel…normal. I have emotions but they aren’t overwhelming. I get nervous, angry, sad, excited but not to the same super-edge level I tend toward. It’s been nice. I’m getting more done with less angst and am not as unwound when I don’t get things done.
Best of all, I feel like I can concentrate on school stuff, which was getting to be a huge problem. I read two entire books in the past two weeks and I can tell you what I read. This is especially fortuitous as I have registered for classes for next semester and am attempting 5 classes in order to start 2010 as a junior.
To make a long story short, after my head cleared from the breakdown fog I came to the conclusion that I accomplish more when I am busy. Couple this with the fact that I would end the year 2 credits shy of my junior year if I only take 4 classes and a decision was born. It’s going to be tough but I think I’ll be happy having done it. And if it isn’t impossible, I’ll be able to finish school that much sooner. All in all, a good decision I think. And if not, it’s only for 3 months.
Third, I finally bit the bullet and got the hair cut. I have about a foot of braid to send to Locks of Love, which makes me feel almost as good as not waking up with my hair in square knots.
And that is just about that. I am what would have been giddy before meds, which is I guess what happy feels like without the fear of it turning into anxiousness.