There was a bit of a coming to a head last night and then a minor computer catastrophe averted. I used up the balance in my iTunes account buying gems like Lucretia My Reflection (staple-hand-forehead) and MC Solaar (I need to learn French) and Ruby (oh bliss.) I was in bed at a decent hour, slept until a decent hour, and this morning…strangely calm. The anxiety seems to be abating, especially more and more as I rehydrate and refill my stomach. I must’ve not been thinking yesterday because I seemed to miss lunch and dinner. I ate a double breakfast this morning and a huge mess o’ lentil-pilaf for a late lunch. Dinner is spinach salad with chick peas and maybe some soup. Back on track. I did some laundry, took a nap, ran the dishwasher and spent a bunch of time playing with Chico. And as I was falling asleep at naptime, I was thinking about colors. I think I’m due to make a collage. I’m going to get working tonight I think.
I’m not sure yet if this means I need to get back into therapy. I’ve gone back and forth on the subject since I got out of the hospital in January, even getting as far as picking up the phone to set up an appointment. I guess this means I should start thinking about it again. I definitely need to do something for myself too. Maybe tomorrow I can sneak off for some lunch on my own.
I don’t know, man. I think maybe I’m a little lonely too.
Lonely can do it. Come visit! We can listen to Ruby and eat hummus all day long. 🙂
That sounds lovely–I wish I could 🙂